Why Does He Do That? is a valuable resource for understanding abusive behavior, particularly in relationships. The book is written by Lundy Bancroft, who has extensive experience working with angry and controlling men. It addresses common questions women in abusive relationships often have, providing insights into the abuser's mindset and offering practical advice for protection and recovery.
Why Does He Do That? is a book that delves into the minds of angry and controlling men, providing a comprehensive understanding of abusive behavior. Written by Lundy Bancroft, a man with over fifteen years of experience in counseling and evaluating abusive men, the book is primarily aimed at women in abusive relationships. It answers twenty-one common questions that women often have about their abusive partners, such as whether the abuser was abused as a child or why they are so insanely jealous. Bancroft's extensive experience and clarity of thought make the book a valuable resource not only for women in abusive relationships but also for anyone seeking to understand and address abusive behavior. The book also debunks myths that abusers use to excuse their behavior, offering practical advice for protection and recovery. It is a must-read for anyone looking to gain insights into the abusive mindset and how to respond effectively.
Quick quotes
The people who can best benefit from knowledge about abusers and how they think are women, who can use what I have learned to help themselves recognise when they are being controlled or devalued in a relationship, to find ways to get free of abuse if it is happening, and to know how to avoid getting involved with an abusive man — or a controller or a user — next time.
He goes about achieving his purpose by answering twenty-one questions that in his experience women most often ask about their abusive partners — such as: Does he abuse because he was abused as a child? (Q1, p. 25) Is he doing it on purpose? (Q2 p. 34) Why is he so insanely jealous? (Q. 6 p. 73).
Lundy, a man, is well qualified to deal with these questions, having been involved — either as a ‘counsellor, evaluator (for court) — in “two thousand or more” cases involving angry and controlling men for over fifteen years.