How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

by Julie Lythcott-Haims
How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success cover
Good Books rating 3.75
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  • ID: 3542
  • Added: 2025-10-18
  • Updated: 2025-10-18
  • Reviews: 3
Reviews
christinevandevelde.com · Unknown · 2025-10-21
insightful 3.75

The book offers valuable insights into overparenting and its consequences, with many reviewers appreciating its advice on fostering independence in children. However, some found the focus on college admissions less relevant to their situations.

How to Raise an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims delves into the pitfalls of overparenting and the importance of teaching children independence. Many reviewers found the book's advice practical and insightful, particularly for parents of middle school and high schoolers. The author's anecdotes and research highlight the dangers of helicopter parenting and the need for children to learn self-sufficiency. While some readers appreciated the book's perspective on college admissions, others felt it was less applicable to their circumstances. Overall, the book serves as a reminder for parents to encourage more independence in their children, regardless of their age.

Quick quotes

    I decided to put this one down to preserve my sanity, but if my husband and I weren't teachers, I think it would have been very enlightening for parenting my own kids.

    The book also talks a lot about parents who generally over-manage their kids' lives and don't allow enough opportunities for their children to learn how to manage in the world on their own.

    I highly recommend this book to ALL parents in this day and age, even if your child is a young adult.

app.thestorygraph.com · Unknown · 2025-10-21
helpful 4.00

The book offers practical advice on raising independent and confident children, with some readers finding it more relatable and helpful than others. While some appreciated the engaging anecdotes and well-organized information, others felt it was primarily targeted at upper-class parents aiming for elite college admissions.

How to Raise an Adult provides a mix of practical advice and anecdotal support for parents looking to raise independent and confident children. Many readers found the later chapters particularly useful, offering clear suggestions on age-appropriate chores and the importance of hard work. The book is well-written and engaging, with some readers appreciating the well-organized information and intriguing points. However, several reviewers felt that the book was primarily targeted at upper-class parents focused on getting their children into top-tier colleges, which may not be relevant to all readers. Despite this, many found the book beneficial and motivating, offering validation and practical steps to improve parenting habits. The book's message is somewhat repetitive and could have been more concise, but it effectively changes the perspective on parenting for many readers.

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    I really enjoyed parts 3 and 4, however, because it gives more practical application to help you child become independent and confident in their own abilities.

    I did feel like this was mainly written for upper class parents whose main goal for their children is that they be accepted to a top-tier college.

    I'm now motivated to give my child age appropriate chores and keep on her to help out around the house every day.

nytimes.com · Unknown · 2015-06-15
critical 3.50

The book critiques the trend of overparenting, which stifles children's independence and creativity. It argues that parents should allow their children to make mistakes and learn from them, rather than constantly intervening and controlling their lives.

The book 'How to Raise an Adult' by Julie Lythcott-Haims delves into the pervasive issue of overparenting, which has become a widespread phenomenon in modern society. The author, drawing from her experience as Stanford's former dean of freshmen, highlights the detrimental effects of helicopter parenting on children's psychological well-being and future prospects. Overparenting not only limits a child's income potential but also does significant psychological harm, leading to increased rates of anxiety and depression. The book argues that children need to be allowed to fail and learn from their mistakes, rather than having their parents constantly intervene and control their lives. Lythcott-Haims provides practical advice for parents, encouraging them to value free play, create space between themselves and their children, and assign chores. The book's message is clear: parents should step back and allow their children to develop independence and resilience.

Quick quotes

    We speak of dreams as boundless, limitless realms. But in reality often we create parameters, conditions and limits within which our kids are permitted to dream

    Kids need to sally forth independently without constant supervision. They need to try and even fail. And when they fail and look around for a parent to bail them out, they need to hear the words, “You must figure this out for yourself.

    The irony, of course, is that after years of lamenting the benign neglect suffered at the hands of 1970s parents who told kids to “go outside and play until dinnertime,” today’s parents are starting to second-guess the ways they’ve overcorrected such hands-off child-rearing.

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